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Anyway, I thought I would give you, Dear Reader, a privileged insight into one of my favourite pastimes – boxing. I can tell you, there is nothing better than a good box.  You may want to take it up yourself.

Mmm. Is he talking about pranging with his paws and claws, I wonder? Or is he talking about an actual box? A box for sitting in. He’s keen on boxes.  Personally, I prefer an igloo. I protect my igloo at all costs. Defend it with tooth and claw, you know.

As I was saying: there’s nothing better than a good box and I normally have a selection of them available.  I like this one as it’s quite roomy. Ideal for days when I have eaten a lot and I don’t want to feel squashed.

This is my absolute favourite. As you see, it fits me like a glove and I can hang my paw over the side. This box also has the advantage of having a glorious elevated view over the garden so I can view all the birds, scan for invaders and see what’s going on.

This box is perfect for when you want a really tight fit. It gives a wonderful squishy feeling inside.  The downside is that I can’t get my paw out in time if the White Delight should happen to attack.

And this one… has some of my practice equipment in it. (The White Delight sometimes calls them toys.)

Well that’s it from me for today.  I hope you have enjoyed the run down on my boxes and I do hope you will be able to find a comfortable one for yourself and settle into it.  

Love

Leo x  (The Magnificent)

Oh Leo!  I wish he wouldn’t interrupt me.  We all know he is trained in combat.  He is constantly sharpening his claws on anything that comes to paw – trees, logs, carpets, sofas….and just look at how he inspects them.  I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t file his incisor as well. As we all know, it’s very sharp.

Anyway, just look at this

What do you think it is?  Do you think this is one of those coronavirus things?  I saw it on the hall floor while I was on my way to find a few kibbles (still rationed, you know) and it’s worrying me to death.  It doesn’t smell right and it doesn’t look right either.  It seems to have snaky-looking protuberances. I have been keeping away from it.  It gives me the shivers just to look at it.  Ghastly thing isn’t it?

Oh there have been fun and games today.  Quite interesting actually. Leo the magnificent, as he now likes me to call him, was removed from a room grumbling loudly, wailing, in fact, and kicking his legs about.  I understand there was something called an online course going on and he was making too much noise.

What is an “online” course, I ask you?  Is it something to do with fishing? That involves lines, doesn’t it?  Perhaps he was frightening the fish away?   I don’t like fish. They make me vomit when they are in my food. Anyway, Leo was taken out screeching and protesting loudly and was made to exit the house by the kitchen door, which he didn’t like.  Why ever not?   

And…. if I had been that cross I would have inflicted a bite… and I DID NOT. I don’t know why I was picked up and taken out of that room when I was simply adding to an erudite conversation with a few well-chosen meows.  The White Delight is getting worse.  Should we be adding fish to the list of things he doesn’t like along with birds (nasty, noxious and noisy, apparently) and eggs (make his tail curl in a peculiar way)?  Thank goodness I’m not on his lists of dislikes!

How does he know he isn’t?  Actually he isn’t.  He doesn’t make my tail curl oddly, although he can be noisy like the birds and for the most part he doesn’t make me vomit, like fish…. but of course I’m not actually eating him. And …. I am sweet natured and I have a big heart!

See you tomorrow …. and avoid that virus thing.

Love

Simba xxxx

No? I thought not.  Well, I can tell you it had the White Delight in quite a spin.    He caught sight of it in the garden and he hurtled right up a tree and shocked all those birds he doesn’t like.  How many times has he called them “nasty, noxious and noisy”?  I’m surprised none of them dropped dead with fright seeing him up there.  I have never seen him move so fast.  He usually moves like a slow loris but on this occasion he was as swift as a vole when I’m on its heels.   Now I know what the term “scaredy cat” means.

As you can see from this picture I’m back in my beloved igloo-  NO BIRD! We’ve ousted it from our website.  It has gone. Verschwunden! Disparu! Actually I don’t know quite how it happened but its offending picture is no longer here and I have regained control.

I have been doing a lot of thinking about birds (nasty, noxious noisy things) and as I told you before that they are being fed with fat balls. (Yes, BIRDS are being fed when OUR kibbles are being rationed!) After careful contemplation I now believe they are being fed to make them heavier so they can’t take off and we can catch them more easily. I haven’t caught a bird for a long time now… but perhaps a new career awaits as a pest control officer.

Take care and see you tomorrow.

Love

Simba XXX

Hello Everyone.  BOTH of us here (Simba and Leo) ………..  We’re VERY, VERY cross.   Words fail us. As you can see a BIRD has hacked into our diary.

A BIRD!  It probably pecked in, looking at the size of that beak.  I suppose it is a bird? Actually, we haven’t seen one like that in our garden, thank goodness. It looks dangerous!  Neither of us fancies tackling it.  Even Leo with his large incisor. But… how did it happen, we’re asking ourselves.

I think it’s something to do with this lockdown thing. Lockdown is a sort of punishment isn’t it?  We get locked down when we’ve done something others don’t like and as it happens that includes bird watching.  Birds really are very annoying, noxious, noisy things, aren’t they?   They wake me up at 5 am. And the dangerous-looking one in that picture must have eaten an egg because its tail is curling.  So, to add to everything else – it’s a CANNIBAL!!  (We would never eat a kitten.)

It’s nothing to do with lockdown!  (And I wish he wouldn’t keep going on about eggs!) As you can see I have been reading New Scientist and I can tell you definitively: that is not a bird. That is a coronavirus!  We need to steer clear of it.

(Simba says I have been shoe-sniffing but of course that’s rubbish. I did try it on for size, though, but it was too big!)

We’re working on it together!  In the meantime, we’re having a nap as it has been a taxing day. We’ll be back again soon when we’ve ousted that bird.

Love , Leo and Simba xxx

Hello World! It’s Leo here. At my very best, my very sweetest, as always.

In one of his missives, the White Delight referred to my campaign to ensure readers of this diary were fully aware of my true, and very delightful, nature. In the unlikely event you ever thought I might be grumpy or cynical (I heard there was a grumpy cat somewhere) I thought I would show you a few pictures showing what I have to put up with.

Look carefully at this.

There’s a mouse on my head. A MOUSE! Whoever thought that was a good idea?

They are fixated with putting things on my head. Maybe to protect my possibly fragile brain?

This one is even worse. A red hat. Not my colour!

And.. in case you’re thinking it…. in none of these cases did I inflict an infected bite. I didn’t even bite. Come to that I didn’t even call the RSPCA!

And, if you think the White delight is perfect. Just look at this!

DISGRACEFUL! Not at all graceful in fact. Definite lack of decorum there.

Love

Leo, the GORGEOUS!

x

Day 8

    Hello Everyone.  Simba here!

I hope you’re all well and managing to avoid that nasty coronavirus thing!  I still haven’t seen one but think it must look like an egg (eggs do peculiar things to your tail, you know, so watch out).

Anyway, as you can see I am sitting in the garden and thinking about life.  And, I’m a bit worried……..

Another interruption!  How am I ever to release my thoughts onto the world with Leo interrupting me?  Anyway, as I said I am actually rather worried.   I have a big worry, in fact.  That’s on top of all this social distancing stuff, talk of viruses, rationing of kibbles and the house never being empty of creatures. Of course there were always smaller ones like bugs and the odd bee but the bigger ones are constantly there now and they do take up so much space. Actually, while I think about it, do be careful of bees. They sting.

Well, I’m worried stiff because Leo is going on what he’s calling a “togetherness” campaign.  Whatever does he mean by that?  He says it’s part of his public relations programme.  I ask you: What’s that when it’s about?  I think it’s because he’s been in a spot of bother for biting too hard and causing an infected bite.    Now I do know what that is because I have had one of those myself (not inflicted by Leo as it happens but by another miscreant invading our garden) and I had to go to the vet.  It was awful because the vet put something called a thermometer INSIDE my tailbase (I shudder at the thought) and said I had a temperature and would need antibiotics.   OH Horror!  I’m OK now, though, so that thermometer thing must have done the trick.

Anyway,  I have discovered that Leo’s “togetherness” campaign involves snuggling up to me for photos – just look at this.  He made me sit on that table (which we all know is forbidden!)

And this is EVEN WORSE

If we were caught, what would have happened? You can see how worried I look while he relaxes behind me. What’s the purpose of this, I ask?

Grrr See what I have to put up with!

Back tomorrow. Remember, be careful of bees, eggs and anything resembling Leo!

Simba x

Hello  World,  LEO here .  At my very best, I might add.  It’s difficult to get a word in edgeways with the White Delight hovering about, but I managed it. 

I like adding to his diary.  He’s a bit airy fairy, you know.  While he contemplates which heavens came before the 7^th and communes with sheep (actually I may have misjudged that one, but more about that later), I am patrolling my garden keeping them all safe.  Now, I’ve tried to keep my whiskers away from this coronavirus thing as it has thrown the White Delight into more of a spin than the sight of an egg (which once made his tail curl in a peculiar way, if you remember).  I have to say I haven’t spotted one  (coronavirus, that is, not egg).  As it’s so ghastly, I thought it would probably look like a dog, but I certainly can’t see one in my garden.  Perhaps it’s too afraid of me to show its face.  I bite, you know.

Anyway, about the sheep.  I received a communication from Bertie (the larger fluffy one to the right of this picture) and he reassured me he is definitely a cat.  I can see that now, of course and I am not afraid to say when I have made a mistake.  Sheep don’t sit like that and he has a tail like no sheep I know (in fact I don’t know a sheep but I have seen pictures). He sent me this picture called “brotherly love”. If you look carefully they are touching.

What rubbish.  He is such a SNOWFLAKE!  (The clue’s in the colour, isn’t it!) I have CATegorically never bitten him.  I am merely cleaning his acres of white fur to help him because it is a difficult colour to keep clean.  And if I have to put my paw on him it’s just to keep him still (he’s a wriggler, you know). Sometimes I need to take a little nibble because he has a burr stuck in his fur.  Take a close look at me. Do I look as if I would ever take a nip out of him? 

Love

Leox

Day 6

                        Hello Everyone, Simba here

Exciting news!  I have had a communication. Yes, another cat has been in touch with me.  Two cats, actually, Bertie and Sammy. And…..they have sent photos.

He always wants a say, doesn’t he? He’s jealous. Of course they are not sheep! Let me introduce my new friends.  Bertie is a therapy cat. I’m not quite sure what that is (the therapy bit I mean, obviously I know what a cat is), but I might consider taking it up myself as it sounds impressive. I wonder if it requires a lot of work.  Leo says he won’t indulge as he already practises acupuncture, which the rest of us call pranging. Sammy is Bertie’s twin brother and looks just like him, warm and cuddly.

Here’s Sammy. He’s got an igloo like mine except his is basketware (excellent material for a manicure, I must say). I think he looks a bit like me. Don’t you think so?

And look – here’s Bertie.  That yawn is impressive!

I told Bertie he looked cuddly, but he thought I meant he was fat. I really hope I haven’t upset him.  He may be a sensitive soul. Leo, who isn’t sensitive at all, said he probably was fat but when I enquired about weight in kilos it turned out I weigh over 5.5 which is heavier than any of them.  Should I be worried?  Perhaps it’s all my fur?

Actually, both cats have been in a spot of trouble recently for food tasting.  They tested part of a sandwich to check it was safe to eat and, oh horror….! They were banished from the kitchen. Can you imagine that! We often taste food but I’ve become more careful recently since an egg made my tail curl in a peculiar way.   Leo asks why they didn’t bite when they were sentenced to banishment. It’s his answer to everything.

He does like to have the last word! Back tomorrow

Love,  Simba x