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As you can imagine, I’m not pleased about this.  It’s chilly out here, it’s wet and he won’t let me in. 

On the other hand, I am pleased.  I don’t often get the chance to tease Leo.   But….he is getting older now and I had better get one of them to open the door.

I’m even crosser now.  That hasn’t been a good start to my day. 

I always like to start my day well. Go out, collect messages little Maudie has left on bushes, terrify a few birds and mice, come in at the exact moment of my choosing, have a hearty breakfast and then take a rest. 

Sometimes, I go to the conservatory where I listen to lectures.  Most of them are quite good, but there was a dud the other day.  Not much lecturing, only students talking. Boring. What do they know?  I thought I could make a few contributions of my own but decided against it as I was removed from the room on a previous occasion when I made my opinions known. Why?

Actually, I like to take a rest, too.  I like Radio 4, but I don’t like those lectures.  

That’s because he doesn’t understand them. Anyway, the day is looking up. Waitrose will be delivering soon.  Not as good as Pets at Home…but you never know what substitutes there will be.  I have heard it said that sirloin has been replaced with fillet again.  That’s much tastier. They do overcook it though.

Because they don’t eat mice, do they? There’s there’s no demand for them. Come to that, dear White Delight, you don’t eat them either.

Well, not often. there’s no meat on a mouse and they’re a faff to catch. But if they were delivered by Waitrose, that would be different. They could deliver them from that van  and release them in our house for us to catch. Perhaps you could put it on the Waitrose customer survey?

Mice Alive!

Exactly.

Oh my paw! This day is going from bad to worse.

I’m going to take a rest

Hello Everyone. I hope you’re OK. There’s a lot of that virus thing around isn’t there? Anyway, we’ve been discussing parties, what they are and whether we have actually been to one. We have definitely been to a conference – arranged one, in fact.  That was when we sat in the drive with Jonathan de Freitas, Jordan, Gillian and Maud and had a good chat. (Why did the neighbours say we were caterwauling? What is that even?) We agreed to ban them from our garden.  Jonathan de Freitas et al, that is, not the neighbours. That would be too difficult.

No, not Maud.  We didn’t ban Maud.

Anyway, we were talking about parties. As you know, the White Delight is rather partial to Radio 4 and, apparently, there has been a lot of discussion about parties. They involve drink.

Yes, actually I do like radio 4 and it’s non-stop about parties at the moment and whether they are part of work. We don’t work. (Do we?) But we all have to drink so that means we all go to parties.

By my paw! Of course we don’t work! Why would you? That White Delight sometimes follows faulty logic. Just because you drink doesn’t mean you have been to a party.

I drink water.  Water only. The purest water, preferably from puddles. The White Delight drinks something highly suspicious called “milk”.  He gets very excited when he sees a milk bottle emerge from the fridge, so excited I wonder what effect it has on him.

I drink it because it keeps my fur white!  Anyway, milk bottles don’t “emerge” from the fridge, they are taken out and milk is deliberately put in my dish. That wouldn’t happen if it was a poisonous sort of thing.

I’m going to party in my igloo!

Hello Everyone

It’s that time of year again isn’t it. When they put up a plastic tree and cover it with lights and dangly things they call decorations that you can’t even eat or play with. (We tried and got into trouble.) Then, a few days later, they dismantle it all and put it back in the attic. What’s the point of it?

Anyway, we’re cross.  They’ve been eating things called “mince pies” and we didn’t get any. 

Yes, everyone knows “mince” is meat and we definitely eat meat. We don’t like those pea things. But we have been flatly denied any mince pies because they say they will make us sick.  So Leo decided we would embark on what he has called a period of civil disobedience.   (Whatever that is!)  It involved………

Disrupting present wrapping and packing at the same time.

Leo was very pleased with that, he called it a “double whammy”. 

Then we both sat in a tree above their reach and pretended not to notice when we were being called…….

…But we had to come in because it was cold, so we walked all over the table (which they don’t like – they say they have to clean it. Why?) Then Leo sat on it so they couldn’t put that Scrabble Board thing out.

Just look at what happened next… I can tell you he wasn’t pleased

No, I wasn’t pleased but I did get a new Napier catnip mouse in compensation. And…..next time I will get my incisor at the ready.

What happened to our campaign of civil disobedience? I was quite enjoying it.

Hello Everyone, it’s Simba here. They’re at it again, you know. ….. I am being aged.  Look at it. It says “Ageing 12 +”  I’m not even 11. 

Mice alive! Does the White Delight ever stop worrying?   Will he ever stop eating my food, come to that? (Not that I am admitting to being in the 12 + category. Would you?)  Anyway, I’m concerned about his wellbeing. Can you see the worry lines etched above his eyes?

What worry lines?  It’s the way I have been designed and I rather like it. Anyway I am eating those 12+ kibbles because they taste good, but I want to know whether they are making me older. Do you think I should ask the RSPCA?

My dearest White Delight I don’t think they will take any notice of your complaint. The RSPCA is busy with other felines in much worse situations.

What you need is a little friend (other than me, of course).  I had a lovely surprise yesterday.  My little Maudie tipped up for a visit.  Isn’t she gorgeous with that little dot on her nose!

Tipped up?  You mean she fell over with her tail over her nose?

I’m beginning to feel it necessary to bite. And if I do, he will have something to worry about.

Oh Tails! I said the wrong thing. I’m retiring to my igloo before I get another worry line! Should I worry about them?

Yes and if you look closely it has holes in it – big enough for me to stick my paw through and poke him.

Me?  Poke the White Delight while he was innocently sitting in a box?  How could anyone think that?

Love Leo and Simba xxxxxxxxxx

Hello Everyone

We’re both here because we’re worried (and slightly cross).

We’ve heard things. There’s someone called Adam in our flat. 

And other people, too.  In OUR flat.  Doing things to it. We haven’t even been consulted.

Apparently, we’re travelling to the flat soon and it’s going to be different. 

I don’t want my flat to be changed.  I liked it as it was. 

Yes, plenty of surfaces to scratch. You know the sort of thing.  A new one won’t be any better unless it has extra scratching posts, en suite litter trays, an enormous, cat proof garden  (cat proof except for us, of course) and food on demand.

Anyway, who is Adam?  I hope he’s not a cat!

Rest assured, Oh White Delight, they wouldn’t do that.

Apparently, there was an Adam in the garden of Eden. But I don’t think it can be the same one, he’d be very old.

Older than you?

I won’t even justify that with an answer.

Did the garden of Eden contain catmint?

Oh I should think so.  It was supposed to be a beautiful garden so it must have had catmint.  Perhaps there will be some in  the new flat.   

I wonder if Derick is still there.  I sat under his bed once, you know. I pretended to hide and, when found, I wouldn’t come out.  That was very good fun.

Yes, and you were in serious trouble!

Yes, but I was excellent . I didn’t bite anyone. I wonder if this changed flat contains boxes.

I shouldn’t think so…. And I doubt whether it has any catmint either…. Or any of the other things we would like

Hello Everyone. We’re in a slight state of the glums here. Leo is in serious trouble from knocking over a glass of water while book-writing was in progress. Yes. He did it deliberately. Put his paw in it and overturned it. I, Simba, am in trouble because I inadvertently bit a toe.  I didn’t mean it. I don’t bite. But it was sticking out of the bedsheet and I bit it by mistake.

We don’t think the glums will last long, though because a parcel has been delivered from Pets at Home.

Yes. It will undoubtedly be full of good things. I just hope it contains Royal Canin Sensible kibbles.

It was delivered by a Leo. They tend to bring good things. Waitrose is sometimes delivered by a Leo and we like Waitrose – their prawns and the steak are quite tasty.

Yes. We had fillet steak the other day because they ran out of sirloin. If we knew what made them run out, we could encourage it to happen more often. I’d like to visit Waitrose, but I suppose we can’t go because of that virus thing. It’s coming back, you know.

It’s not coming back. It was just the Government panicking. Anyway, be careful what you wish for. Waitrose have occasionally run out of cat food – or at least the type I like. The one with my picture on it. Really, it should be called Leo and not Felix. Anyway, it’s not the virus that prevents us from going. They don’t allow cats inside.

Don’t allow cats!  What sort of place is that? My kibbles don’t come from Waitrose, anyway. They come from Pets at Home. As you know, I get very cross if I don’t get the right kibble – I hope they are not rationed again. Is that the government’s fault, too? What a scandal! By the way. What is a government?

Don’t get your tail in a twist. There is no rationing at present and the government is nothing for us to worry about. It’s just an amorphous sort of thing. Be calm like me and take advantage of any comfortable White Delight- sized receptacle in which to relax.

All right. (I don’t know what “amorphous” is, but I do know my tail only twists if I eat an egg by mistake.)

Hello, everyone, It is I, Leo.

You are probably wondering what has happened to the White Delight who usually occupies this blog spot. Don’t panic. He’s all right. He’s just sulking in his igloo because his pride has been hurt.

Oh yes, he is.  One of those birds he calls nasty, noxious and noisy dropped a bit of suet cake on him when he was sitting underneath the bird feeder. (Why do they feed those things?) Anyway, it gave him a fright and he jumped. I have been teasing him about using blue tits as cat scarers and he doesn’t like it!

I wasn’t scared at all, I just didn’t expect one of those nasty little bird things to drop something on me. Anyway, as you can see, I’m outside again. I’m watching their feeder to put them off.

It isn’t working, though, is it? We have to share our garden with so many other things ….. Take the table outside the study window where my little Maudie likes to sit and look in on me… (I have to say, it is also occasionally frequented by less desirable creatures like Gillian, Jordan and Johnathan de Freitas, but they are at least felines.)  Now look at what is there………

Cyril Quirrel. Large as life. The White Delight would be shocked if Cyril dropped something on his head – it would be a hard nut! Anyway, I don’t care for those quirrels, they have incisors almost to match my own dear tooth. Coming back to The White Delight, he is getting a bit paranoid, don’t you think?  He’s always on the look out…..

I rest my case.  I, on the other hand, take a spin around the garden with Maud and retire to one of my sleeping spots to reflect on things.

Don’t be fooled – it’s his age!

My incisor will be put to use if he says that again!

Hello everyone.  Simba here. I hope you’re all well. That virus thing is receding, isn’t it?

That’s more than can be said for the number of cats visiting our garden.  The R rate has gone up. Their numbers are increasing exponentially. On top of that, the weather has become cold. I decided Spring had come and I could sleep on my chair as it was warmer, but I’ve had to go back into my igloo again. It’s too cold.

Snowflake (he’s the right colour isn’t he). Anyway, he’s correct about the number of invaders in our garden.  We’ve seen off Johnathan de Freitas. He hasn’t been back since we ambushed him.  Jordan is too afraid to come since I showed him my incisor. But…. there has been a large tabby which could be Maud’s father (I really hope not) and another one.  Maud says she is called Gillian.

Not that Maud again.  She’s always at the door waiting for Leo. And now Gillian….

In fact, just look at them. They’re all lined up wanting to come into our house!

Oh yes, so it is. But you can see the others, Johnathan, Maud and Gillian. And I can tell you that Gillian has a tail like a fox. Just look at it.

Oh yes, Gillian does have a rather lovely tail, but I don’t think she is as lovely as little Maudie.

Oh no I hope he doesn’t go moony over that Gillian, now.  That tail is strange. I hope she isn’t half fox!  Foxes are dangerous.  You have to be careful of them, you know. They are related to dogs.

Oh panic not, White Delight.  Life is sweet and I really don’t care about the cat R rate going up, as long as it goes up with Mauds and Gillians.

Love Leo xxxx

Hello Everyone SimbA here.  I’m a bit exhausted today. We’ve had quite an unusual time.  Where do I start?

Well the first thing is that I am being called “SimbO”. Why?  I don’t like it.  I am Simba and always have been. So now I have made that quite clear, let me tell you what has been happening to us.

Personally, I call him the White Delight.  He doesn’t seem to mind that.  But he is right.  We had an altercation in our garden.

An altercation. That’s it. Well, you’ll remember we have invaders – pesky Maud, Jordan who looks like me and Johnathan de Freitas who looks like Leo. Well, do you know, they actually come into our garden and spy on us!  They even try to get in.  Actually try to get in! Just look, here’s Johnathan de Freitas on the left and Maud on the right. (Hiss)

My Maud is not pesky.  She is stunning, But anyway. I convened a meeting in the front drive with Simba, Johnathan de Freitas and darling Maud (Jordan wouldn’t come – too shy) and we agreed where we would and wouldn’t go and at what times.  Then the very next hour Johnathan broke our agreement.

Yes, well. That Johnathan really annoyed us. He came into our garden and wouldn’t move, despite Leo baring his incisor and wailing like a banshee. So, we decided to ambush him. We’re clever at that you know and whatever people say we work well as a pack.

Yes we do. I lay in wait in the car port and The White Delight manoeuvred Johnathan into the passage at the side of the house and then sat near the shed so he couldn’t get back. He was cornered.  We’re much bigger than he is and I can tell you, he may have a long name but he was terrified.  I was preparing to give him one of my famous bites, but the White Delight gave in and LET HIM GO!

Not that again.  Anyway, he ran off and he has stayed away so it worked.

We feel we’ve had a good day’s work…… and we are extremely hungry after our exertions. A good dinner and a good night’s rest is what we need.

Love Leo and Simba xxxxx