As you can see, I am in 7th heaven. I have managed to reclaim my igloo from the dark invader (otherwise known as Leo) and am fully rested. What I have been puzzling about over the last day or so is: if I am in 7th heaven, what are the other 6 Heavens?
You can probably guess what my six heavens would be:
Choice of the correct Kibbles, morning, noon and night (none of this rationing business)
Leo, asleep, keeping a safe distance (nothing to do with THAT VIRUS – he bites!)
A working cat flap – the entrance has been blocked up for ages. I’ll tell you why one day.
Ongoing cuddles- (none of that social distancing stuff, please. I love the postman and the newspaper delivery person).
Sunshine – so I can sit in the garden without being cold
A multitude of large and lazy mice to enable me to practise my rodent operative skills without too much exertion.
[ Look how generous I have been. He moaned so much it wore me down and I gave him back his igloo. AND, just for the record, I didn’t bite him, Now I’m having to wedge myself into this box! Leo]
I’ve seen what he has written. What a cheek! I reclaimed my igloo by waiting patiently outside and rushing in when he had to leave to answer a call of nature (mouse squeaking in the garden). When he came back (empty pawed, I might add) I was dreaming peacefully with one eye open, alert for any attack.
Anyway, I have reclaimed my favourite spot. I have managed to eliminate “eau de chat” or whatever he calls it, and have replaced it with “parfum de Simba”…. and I am staying here for the foreseeable future.
I really hope you all have your own igloos to enjoy!
It’s LEO here. Now I know you were probably expecting the White Delight, otherwise known as Simba, but he’s gone off in a tizz. So I have taken over for today.
Why has he gone off in a tizz? Well, as I said before he’s a whimp and he’s not happy about me temporarily taking over his igloo. I’ve told him he can have it back soon, but he says it will smell. I don’t smell. I am perfumed. Eau de chat. His igloo will have a wonderful aroma when I decide to move out.
Mind you, on this occasion he may have cause for concern. We were both in the kitchen this morning demanding breakfast, only to discover “Happy Birthday” was being sung to milk bottles as they were washed under a running tap. Milk bottles! They don’t even sing “Happy Birthday” to us. At least they don’t put us under running water so I suppose we should be happy for small mercies. Mind you, if they did, I would bite. Naturally.
As you know, the White Delight has been grumbling about being socially distanced, but we discovered that LOO ROLLS were being socially distanced as well! They have been quarantined for 72 hours, apparently. Why? Why are they even needed, come to that? We’re perfectly clean and we never use them.
Anyway, I am a bit concerned about Simba. After I told him to go out and catch a mouse, I found him in the bedroom attacking a cardigan. Yes, if you don’t believe me, just take a look at this!
What is he thinking? Perhaps I had better watch my step with him after all. (His writing’s awful, though. Isn’t it.)
On another subject, I think there is a mouse in my house. Yes, UNBELIEVABLE. How DID it get here? Doesn’t it know two cats live here? The White Delight doesn’t believe me, but I am right. There is rustling in the study and I located mouse pellets near the piano. What more proof do you need? Of course, I shall catch it. But I’m a tad worried I will get into trouble. Is it a pet, perhaps? Who would have a pet mouse? I’ve been wanting a pet hamster for some time. I gather they go round on wheels. Just imagine the fun you could have poking them and making their wheels go faster.
But… then I make a discovery.
Oh no! Big Cheese Sonic Mouse Repellent. What the hell is that? Yuk!
Never mind. I’m always resourceful. I shall go out and catch a mouse, right now and leave it as a present on the study floor. That’ll solve the problem.
Leo, just don’t do it!
I told you he was a whimp. Anyway, the White Delight wants to say goodbye for now so we’ll see you tomorrow for another dose of everyday cat life.
I thought I would show you a picture of one of my hearts as people seem to like them. Maybe that’s because they are black and are so much easier to clean than the rest of me. Leo is mostly black and he hardly ever seems to clean which I find a bit suspect. Anyway, as they say, every day is a new day. I was a bit grumpy yesterday so please forgive me for that, I’m usually very even tempered so I’m told.
Having said that, it’s still very peculiar here and it was very quiet when I went out, apart from those noxious birds. Blimey (am I allowed to say that?) they do make a racket. Do you know they actually feed them with fat balls. FEED THEM when my kibbles are being rationed. Mind you I wouldn’t like to eat a fat ball. Leo called me a fat ball once. He’s been a bit rude to me recently and when I complained about my kibbles he told me to: “Go out and catch a mouse!” What DOES he think I am?
What do I think he is? A CAT!!!
My day started quite well, actually. There was none of this getting out of bed an hour early business. They all seemed to be lounging about, Leo included. So, I was able to do my stretching exercises and scratch the sofa a bit (it’s an amazing bit of kit for a manicure but for some reason others don’t like it). I strolled down the garden, sniffed a few plants to check no foreign invaders had been in overnight – they hadn’t – and sat in my favourite spot fluffing up my fur against the cold to contemplate what a coronavirus might be. It is certainly playing havoc with my routines! if it is so dangerous it must be HUGE. What I can’t understand is how it can be in so many places at once and with no one seeing it.
Being invisible must be quite useful – it certainly would be for me. Just think how I could get my own back on Leo by nibbling his tail…..and it would be useful to steal his food at this time of kibble-rationing.
What other news is there? Leo has been doing far more “pranging practice” – that’s what he calls it – but it’s actually scratching other creatures. I’m not quite sure why he needs more practice because he’s very good at it already.
If he goes on like this I will prang him.
I understand he has caused notes to be made in the accident book at the vet’s on two occasions which is an achievement I know he is proud of. I wonder if all this pranging practice is something to do with Easter? All I know about Easter is that it has something to do with eggs. I don’t like eggs. I ate part of an egg once and it made my tail curl in a peculiar way.
Anyway, I may think about Easter on another occasion. Thank you for reading my diary. I’ll talk to you again soon.
I’m Simba and I am a fluffy white cat, so I’m
told, with black hearts on my flanks. I live in a comfortable house in a
village amongst other creatures, which, whilst they no doubt consider
themselves to be important, are of no consequence whatsoever for my story. Just for the record, these creatures are
fish, spiders, fleas, mice, humans, dragonflies and, of course, several
varieties of household bug. The creature
that is most important is black and white and is called Leo. (Here’s his portrait below)
I’m Leo
Sometimes he bites. Sometimes he licks me, usually when I don’t want to be licked…. But he is my companion.
Anyway, enough background. I hope you get the picture. I am writing this
at a time of great pressure in the world. I have constantly been hearing the
word “coronavirus”. What is it, when
it’s around? Whatever it is I just don’t like it and I would like you to tell
it to go away. It seems to be more
pervasive than Leo at his worst! I don’t
want to be miserable all the time or to make you depressed by reading my diary,
but I feel it may make me feel better if I write it all down. And.. you may be
able to help.
In the last week things have changed from my
normal routine which I have been comfortable with for the last 8.5 years. It’s bizarre. There’s no other way of putting
it. The humans are home all the time (that’s not too bad actually, as I can now
be fed on request) BUT they are rationing my Kibbles. RATIONING them. And I am being given Kibbles
for ageing cats. I don’t want to be
aged. I’m 9 and I am happy with that
(Leo is 13). Why do they think I should
be aged, suddenly?
Worse. I am being socially distanced. Yes,
SOCIALLY DISTANCED. The newspaper man and the postman used to stroke me every
day. I used to rub myself against their
black trousers covering them in my beautiful white fur. I know they liked it. They
always used to rub their trouser legs afterwards. I rub my legs when I’m
happy. But now the postman has told me I
need to observe social distancing and he doesn’t want to put coronavirus on me.
Why? What’s wrong with it? Anyway,
I don’t know if there is anything you can do. Perhaps you could contact the
post office about the postman and the Daily Telegraph about the paper man?
Things have been very strange today. I woke up
this morning and everyone was already up – AN HOUR earlier than normal A whole
hour! Leo has told me this is British
Summer Time (whatever that is). I like to take my time getting up, preen my
fur, clean my paws etc to prepare for seeing the postman and the newspaper
delivery man, but when I opened my eyes (and I had to because there was noise
and movement all around me) everyone was up.
Leo was on the prowl, the humans were doing whatever they do (that’s a
mystery in itself isn’t it?) and the birds were tweeting annoyingly in the
garden. (I must do some pest control!) Well, it was all a rush. That’s all I can say. I went outside and,
apart from the birds making a raucous racket, it was horribly quiet. No cars,
no trains, no humans …. and no strokes from my friends. I am bereft! Is it a
coronavirus making all this happen? If
so, it must be a very big thing. But it can’t be because I can’t see anything
and as everyone knows cats have excellent eyesight. Even Leo.
Having dug up a bit of the neighbour’s garden,
I came back inside and took refuge in my igloo for most of the day. At least
it’s warm there and Leo has learnt not to poke me when I’m there as it is one
of the very few occasions when I bite.
I’m wondering whether I should venture out at all.
Anyway, I may have said enough for now. I will see what tomorrow brings. I’ll be back in touch then.
