Month: February 2021

Good afternoon (or whatever time it is where you are). It is I, Leo. You were probably expecting the White Delight but I’m afraid he’s sulking

I’m not sulking. But I’m cross he’s interfering with my blog.

He’s been reprimanded for thumping about on the conservatory roof during a zoom class. In fact, I was in my box in the conservatory listening to the lecture myself, and it was awful. (Simba on the roof, that is, not the lecture.)

He has large paws, you know, and you could see them quite clearly and, by the way, they’re very dirty. They should be pink and they are mainly black. He kept jumping up and down. One student asked about the noise and was told it was a bird.  A bird! The White Delight wouldn’t like that.

No I didn’t. I’m not remotely like a bird, nasty noxious and noisy things.  Anyway, I don’t thump. Actually, I’m very light on my little pink paws and I don’t know why I’m in trouble.  They’ve become a bit funny recently, since they went to the vet to be vaccinated. Actually, they seem to be happy and we don’t know why. Vaccinations don’t make us happy, I can tell you. But whatever. Anyway, Leo’s in trouble too, for standing on the threshold of the door and letting the cold air in.

I’m not in trouble. Not at all. I merely wish to test the air temperature before I venture out.

Inflammatory!  I am not old, merely mature. Ask Maud.

Not likely.  I don’t like that Maud. She’s blotchy. Anyway, she hissed at me. HISSED! AT ME!

Blotchy?  She’s beautiful.  A work of modern art, a bit like me – just look.  I’ll do more than hiss at him of he says that again.  I think I should box his ears and send him off to clean his paws.

No need. I’ve iglatised myself. The thought of Maud hissing and Leo boxing my ears is just too much!

Love Simba

And Leo  XXXXX

(And, in case you’re wondering, I always have the White Delight’s interests at heart, I was worried in case he fell off that roof!)

Hello Everyone.  Simba here. We’re laughing again. We do that sometimes, as you know. Why are we laughing?  We’re amused because they keep wandering around all the time, and sometimes they shake their limbs!

We’re not quite sure why they are doing it, but it seems to be something to do with those Fitbit things they wear.  Why they wear anything is beyond me.

Whatever. They count steps with those Fitbit things. We wouldn’t know how to do that. We can count of course  (I carefully count kibbles to make sure Leo isn’t getting too many) but as we have four legs, does that count as one or two steps?  

Anyway, it has been a funny week all round. I heard on radio 4 that a lawyer in the United States (which as we know is next to France which has viruses and dogs) pretended to look like a cat.

Yes, but when we saw it on the television, it wasn’t a cat at all – or it was a very strange one. We have been trying to think why they would do that. Of course, we’re beautiful creatures – even the White Delight – but pretending to be one of us should be a crime.

Well yes. Sometimes I think they do represent dogs. When they have bitten someone. You know the sort of thing.

So this lawyer was masquerading as a cat while representing a dog?

I think that may be right.

That White Delight is asking too many questions. I’m going to retire to his igloo for a bit.  

 There’s a Waitrose delivery due soon and I want to be alert for it. You never know what it might contain.

Love

Leo (The Magnificent)  xxxx

Hello Everyone. It’ Simba here. I’m out of my igloo and I’m reading.

Mice Alive! What is he reading?

“ 4 Disciplines of Execution”.  By my incisor! What is a book like that doing in the house, and worse still, left where it is accessible to the White Delight?

Admittedly, he’s not the fastest when it comes to execution, but I don’t want him to improve. Yukko! Horrible!

This is a very boring book. Actually, I can’t understand it.

……But I do like Leo’s reaction. As they say in the book “It will take him out of his comfort zone.”

Oh my paw! Thank goodness he doesn’t understand it.  

But…. don’t you think the White Delight is looking a bit fiercer these days?  I wonder if it has anything to do with that book?  I need to take a look myself. Not that I would learn anything, I’m already a superb executioner, you know, but I wouldn’t want its contents to harm the White Delight in any way.  Otherwise, he wouldn’t be a Delight.

Ha! I’ve read it. He’s right. It’s boring and obvious. The first discipline of execution is “Focus on the wildly important.” Well. You wouldn’t execute a tame mouse, would you? It might be a pet. (Peculiar, I know, but I gather it happens. Perhaps we could ask for one for Christmas?) Anyway, we only execute wild ones. I would never execute a mouse that came into the house, unasked.  It happened once before and we had great fun watching them trying to catch it without damaging it. They are VERY, VERY slow! And they were bitten! Should have asked us.

What does: “Keep a compelling Scoreboard mean?”   It’s the second discipline.

That’s easy. It means keep a count of the mice you’ve caught in the last month. In my case 3. In his case 0.

We’re in trouble for squabbling and putting fur everywhere. Us?  Can you believe it? We wouldn’t do that! 

Love Leo and Simba

xxxx

Hello Everyone, both of us here. As you can see, we are asleep. Well, we’re pretending to be asleep.

We’re a bit tired and bored and we are lying low.

I did not attempt a prang. If I had wanted to prang, I would have done so. I was just practising my boxing skills.

Rubbish! He prangs when he is bored. Anyway, that sea has gone. I think the hippo must have drunk it. Whatever. 

It means pesky Maud is back and so are Jordan (the fake me) and the fake Leo.  (Maud says his name is Jonathan de Freitas. What sort of name is that for a cat?  Imagine the vet calling that out!)

He’s in more trouble now, for using the “v” word. We try not to use it in case it prompts a visit. BUT he does have a point. It’s a very long name. We don’t know what it means.  Our names both refer to lions. I don’t look like a lion.

Leo has too much white. Same shiftiness about the eyes perhaps….. I don’t like the look of that thing at all.  It makes my ears twitch. I’d come in if I saw that thing in the garden. Something else to worry about.

Image from Pixabay

Well, that thing is certainly draping itself about the place like the White Delight. How does he do it? 

But… its ears are like pompoms. I like those. You could give those a good bite. I wonder if they fall off like the catnips. Probably a design fault. How do they hear with ears like that?

I don’t like the direction of this conversation. Cats called Jonathan de Freitas, hippos drinking water from drains and perhaps even scary black creatures in the garden. And..if Leo is thinking about biting my ears I am going back to my igloo.  

Take care and mind that virus thing and anything that looks shifty in your garden.

Love

Simba x