Month: September 2020

Hello Everyone. Simba here.

There’s a huge problem and I just hope you can help.  It’s a non- virus problem actually. We have a major issue with quirrels ….. and it’s not just us.  I have had a communication.

Mice alive! What is he on about? What the devil is a “quirrel”?  And where has the communication come from: Chief Quirrel? Boris Johnson?  Mars? ………

He’s being nasty to me again.  This is a quirrel (Cynthia, I think)  and I was sent this photo by my friends Bertie and Samie.

I quote:

Greetings from Samie (and Bertie), I have a great problem that you might be able to solve as I know you are much more intelligent than Bertie.  (That is a lie I have a super brain, I just don’t want to wear it out).

Anyway horror of horrors, we have been invaded!  Cyril and Cynthia squirrel are taking over OUR garden, burying nuts, digging holes in the lawn and threatening us.  They sit in the trees growling and swearing. Sometimes they throw things at us.  What can we do?

Please help. I am scared and only go out if my human servant is with me. (I of course am not afraid, I’m Big Bertie and therefore a very scary cat, myself, but Samie….

Well, it’s nice to hear from Bertie and Samie (glad it wasn’t Boris Johnson).  So, it’s “squirrels” we’re talking about.   

Easy.  Don’t despair, chaps.  This will sort out Cyril and Cynthia and their bad language. Snarl. Show your teeth. Put your ears back. Fluff up your fur. Arch your back…..and if necessary inflict a bite. You know, the sort of thing you would do with the postman.

Solved.

Love

Leo XXXX

Hello Everyone! Simba here.

I’m happy today.  The weather’s nice.

I’ve got a car, you know.  It’s a Jaguar and it’s perfectly designed for sitting on. It heats up beautifully in the sun and warms me up.

Sometimes I sit on the front like this…….

…..and sometimes I sit right on top and watch the world go by.  This is particularly useful for checking on that pesky Maud, Leo is so taken with. 

Do you know, I can even make art works on my car.  I expect you didn’t know that. When it has been raining and my paws are a bit muddy I can walk all over my car and leave little prints in a most wonderful pattern.

You can try that for yourself with your own car, if you’re lucky enough to have one.  Wait until the prints are dry and they look wonderful and last for ages. Though make sure you only do this with your own car. I decorated a neighbour’s car once and they didn’t seem happy. Why ever not?

Here’s my mouse box.  As you can see, I have taken them all out to select the ones I need for my game which involves placing them strategically around the house.

Hmm. I suspect he plays chess with his mice because he can’t catch a real one! 

Love, Simba  xxxx

Hello Everyone.  We’re both here to express our annoyance in the strongest terms.

It’s happened again…. We DON’T BELIEVE IT!

Abandoned (what would we do without Aunties Amanda and Alison?) and incarcerated in the house.

And…… there’s more….

They’re in quarantine, which means they must be health hazards.  We are sharing our house with HEALTH HAZARDS!

It’s that virus thing again isn’t it?  They have travelled to somewhere called France. Highly dangerous. Probably full of dogs and viruses.

We travel, but only to the flat (which we quite like) and to the vet (which we don’t. Obviously.)……

Bags of food arrived from the place called Waitrose. We have seen that before and sometimes they do contain quite nice things like prawns.

But this time there were many more. Bags, that is, not prawns. In fact, Leo couldn’t detect any prawns. What a waste of plastic if there are no prawns! What are they thinking?

Here’s Leo checking there are sufficient supplies for us –  we don’t want any of that Kibble rationing again.

And, I’m so worried. Everything is still being washed and sprayed.  I hope they don’t try to wash or spray me. I wouldn’t like it.

I really wouldn’t.

And I have not even been to France!

Well, If the White Delight is worried, I suppose something is normal. I rest in the knowledge no-one would even attempt to wash or spray me, because I would inflict a bite. I have been mentioned several times in the vet’s accident book, you know. I’m proud of that.

Anyway, the weather is good and that means my little Maudie may be about.  Perhaps I can entice the White Delight on to a garden chair and we’ll discuss what to do next about this state of affairs.

Love from both of us

xxx