Hello Everyone. Simba here.
There’s a huge problem and I just hope you can help. It’s a non- virus problem actually. We have a major issue with quirrels ….. and it’s not just us. I have had a communication.
Mice alive! What is he on about? What the devil is a “quirrel”? And where has the communication come from: Chief Quirrel? Boris Johnson? Mars? ………
He’s being nasty to me again. This is a quirrel (Cynthia, I think) and I was sent this photo by my friends Bertie and Samie.
I quote:
Greetings from Samie (and Bertie), I have a great problem that you might be able to solve as I know you are much more intelligent than Bertie. (That is a lie I have a super brain, I just don’t want to wear it out).
Anyway horror of horrors, we have been invaded! Cyril and Cynthia squirrel are taking over OUR garden, burying nuts, digging holes in the lawn and threatening us. They sit in the trees growling and swearing. Sometimes they throw things at us. What can we do?
Please help. I am scared and only go out if my human servant is with me. (I of course am not afraid, I’m Big Bertie and therefore a very scary cat, myself, but Samie….
Well, it’s nice to hear from Bertie and Samie (glad it wasn’t Boris Johnson). So, it’s “squirrels” we’re talking about.
Easy. Don’t despair, chaps. This will sort out Cyril and Cynthia and their bad language. Snarl. Show your teeth. Put your ears back. Fluff up your fur. Arch your back…..and if necessary inflict a bite. You know, the sort of thing you would do with the postman.
Solved.
Love
Leo XXXX